How does it feel to be you? How might it feel? Today I will share three phenomenologies of self.

1. Self as subject

Self as subject is “me in here, the world out there”. You’re inside your head, behind your eyes, a barrier (your skin?) insulating you from the outside world. Self is subject, that which is not self is object. This is the default mode (network doing its thing) for most people, most of the time. In the self but not in the world.

2. Self as object

Self as object is the third person, top-down. The self development/self improvement frame is one example of self as object. The self as a project to be worked on, something to schedule and create routines for, to tweak and optimize. A mechanistic being of inputs and outputs, the goal to become a better functioning system. “Life as a video game.” Perceived problems (with the self or with the world) are met with “I need to work on this”. The self is an object and experience is also an object, rather than something firsthand. Not in the self and not in the world.

3. ???

I might call this first-order engagement or relational participation. I’m still working it out for myself, so instead of a description I’ll offer a few handles.

Spirits

Relating to parts of the inanimate world as if they have living spirits inside of them, or as if they are the physical aspect of a living spirit. The feeling of being in nature as of relating to another being. The feeling of consuming a substance (caffeine, cannabis, mushrooms) as interacting with the spirit of the plant. Greeting, thanking, or saying goodbye to objects or spaces.

Jazz

In the Pixar movie Soul the main character says, “Music and life operate by very different rules!” One of the messages of the film, of course, is that the opposite is true. So perhaps this is like living jazz – improvisationally.

Talebian

The opposite of whatever Taleb (Nassim Nicholas) means when he says “sissy”.